Be careful what you blog.
I have to apologize here to all the Michael Jackson fans for my saying last week that I wasn’t really a fan. I can only chalk it up to my being tired. But I must have seemed frumpy and very arrogant indeed.
All weekend I’ve listened to his singing and watched videos of his dancing, and I remember how much I enjoyed his musical talents. I still can’t take my eyes off him when I see him dancing!
He surely was a musical genius — a natural talent who worked very hard, according to all who knew him. And one of the best dancers the world has ever known. A man made of mercury, fluid and graceful and shining, he bent and blended gender, race, age, dance genres and musical styles. I think it’s pretty obvious that Michael’s innovations changed pop music — and dance — forever.
If, indeed, his death is from a combination of things — pills, anorexia, exhaustion — it will be understandable. He seemed to have a self-loathing and self-destructive streak. Besides that, he saw what happened when Elvis got older and the weight started to accumulate on his body: People made fun of him — something Michael couldn’t abide. So if Michael saw a pound or two creeping onto his frame, he would be horrified and instantly go into starvation mode.
Like Elvis, he was surely surrounded by enabling sycophants, some probably in the form of doctors.
A little boy who never had a childhood, never grew up, and never found a real life partner, he saw himself as Peter Pan. “I AM Peter Pan,” he told Martin Bashir. “I’m Peter Pan in my heart.”
All this made me think he could never really hurt a(nother) child, so for a long time I defended him against the scurrilous and, I must say, grotesque child molestation charges against him. I finally realized I didn’t know him, so I could neither defend nor attack him, so I gave up.
I don’t know who will get custody of his children, but let me just say that I don’t want Joe Jackson to raise them. According to Michael’s own words, Joe was a horrible abuser, beating and humiliating his own children whenever he could.
My condolences to his family, his friends and his fans. And to myself, because I’ll miss watching those feet move, and hearing that crystal clear voice. (Just try buying one of his CDs online today.)
I am grateful we had him as long as we did.
(Updated 6/30/09)